Those blasted peanuts

Some days I feel like I am doing pretty well at the whole mothering thing. Other days, not so great. Tuesday was one of those not so great days. I had a dentist appointment and my friend watched the boys for me. In my rush, I forgot to tell my friend that Dallin has a severe peanut allergy. So mad at myself. You cannot believe how paranoid I have been around peanuts for the past year and a half since we learned of his allergy and then I just didn't think to say anything this time. My friend (who I feel so bad that I put in this situation) gave D a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. About half way through the sandwich he hunched over and complained of severe stomach pain. She called 911 and an ambulance came and looked him over. He hadn't had an anaphylactic reaction- which could cause him to progressively stop breathing (later I learned that he probably didn't have as severe a reaction because this was his first encounter with peanuts). They checked him out and said to watch for hives or difficulty breathing. I raced home from the dentist and as soon as I got there he threw up a couple of times (thank goodness he got most of the peanut butter out of his system) but was still in a bit of pain. We went home and he slept for a couple of hours. I checked on him every 2 minutes to make sure he was still breathing, but the nurse I talked to said we didn't need to do the epi pen or take him into the ER until we saw hives or labored breathing. His little body was bright red all over, like a sunburn, and he was just exhausted. He began to feel better that evening and even got his appetite back. He asked to go to Joe's Farm Grill and get a hamburger. Little guy- after all he had been through he just wanted a hamburger. So we loaded both boys in the car and went to Joe's. He progressively got better, had more energy, and the redness went down. The following day we went to his asthma/allergy doctor so that he could see how D was doing. We need to get more blood work done in about a month to see if his allergy has worsened (Levels 4, 5, and 6 put you in the category of a severe allergy with the possibility of an anaphylactic reaction- he was at a 4 before this incident). His doctor thinks his allergy may step up to a 5 or a 6 after this, but we'll find out in a month for sure. I can't explain my feelings these past few days other than a combination of anger (at myself), sadness, frustration, fear, discouragement, and finally, gratitude, that it wasn't worse and that he is back to being perfectly healthy and happy. It has been an extremely difficult thing for me these past couple of days to realize that my carelessness (I know it was an accident, but guilt is a powerful thing) has caused him pain and a potentially more severe allergy. I know that a peanut allergy is not the end of the world. Carrying around an epi pen and possibly having oral steroids and a trip to the ER is not the end of the world. Avoiding a particular food and constantly being on guard is not the end of the world. He'll be fine if we are careful, but I was hoping so desperately that he could out grow this, but any exposure pretty much rules that out. I'm writing this because I want you to be aware of his allergy just in case I let my guard down again. Dallin is doing so much better and I really am grateful that his reaction was less severe than it could have been. On a side note, he is obsessed with ambulances and firetrucks and the one time that both were right outside the house, he wasn't feeling well enough to enjoy it. :)